Who am I in your life? Because I’m beginning to wonder if I really was anything to you at all…

Some things will never change but when do you know when enough is enough? 

I’m starting to think that change won’t be such a bad thing afterall.

When you start to dislike someone, everything they do begins to annoy you. 

Time goes by a lot slower when you miss the one you love.

During my whole life all I’ve wanted is someone who will be afraid of losing me<3

I once again find myself getting caught up in what used to be. I’m slowly making my way back to the person I was before. Last time. I don’t want to be her. I liked who I had become. But for some god forsaken reason when I am around you I can’t help it. I’m turning back in the bitchy monster I was at one point. Please if you can explain this to me please do. I love you, and I’m trying to not become who I was. Because who I was, was a monster that got angry at everything. I had no reason for half the things I got angry about. I’m falling all over again. And maybe this would be easier if I didn’t miss you so much when I’m away. I guess that’s partially the reason why I wanna get out of this place. To get away. To show myself that being away from you isn’t the end of the world. To prove to myself that even if you’re not beside me, that you’re still with me. That you are still mine, and still thinking about me. I’m wishing and hoping with everything in me that this time will be different. Trying to build that wall up so if you do try to tear it down again. I won’t get hurt this time, or atleast not as bad. I’m trying to keep my guards up, but you’re making it really hard. I love you with all my heart, I always have and always will. I’m not sure what the point of this is, knowing that you will probably never see it. But I guess I just needed a place to vent. 

Sincerely, 

The girl who is trying to not become who she was, but in return stay as who she has become. 

I sometimes wish you could hear what goes through my head.